How to mend a broken relationship? Is it possible? but how..?


DD Advice…

I think you are very naive if you think that you can live a life free of arguments and broken relationships, this is what builds you and makes you the person you are today. You are not alone if you are finding that you keep meeting the wrong type of people, the good news is that you are not alone and the last piece of good news is that you will be ok.

Relationship facts

  • Everyone has ups and downs within a relationship there will always be disagreements and perhaps even a disconnect
  • There is probably always periods where one person is a little more into it than the other – one that is doing less for the other person and then balance periods
  • You won’t find a perfect match you will always miss things within a person
  • Its a very important part of your life and impacts how you feel emotions and feelings daily
  •  Some differences are important within a relationship as well as being different – its really important to have a balance
  • If its good you know it and if you need to leave it you know that too – have the guts to just know it and follow through

Key Issues in relationships / people getting into them ..

  • You become desperate for the relationship that you don’t consider the person well enough
  • You are not a good match – you clash – you are too different or too similar ( too extravert / opposite)
  • You cannot communicate one person is never keen to talk to the other person and tell them how they feel
  • You settled for the person who you thought would do, not the best person for you
  • You basically did everything in the wrong order, you got the kid and then got married – trust me you need time being married before having a child – otherwise it will backfire
  • You never wanted the relationship enough or had to fight for the love
  • You are attracted to other people at the same time – This person is not enough
  • You want different things from life and the future

How can you fix it?

  1. Deep down you can fix anything if you work hard enough and if you really want to work for it, dependant on many other factors.. time, love, and issues
  2. Couples coaching is well worth doing, its amazing what a third party impartial person can do to help
  3. Have more space – get a hobby or take your mind of the issues – focus on you / this is important
  4. Every day think of something good you can do everyday / have a happy thought
  5. Be positive can bring a person closer
  6. Dont get drunk when you are in this emotional state ..
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How to plan a wedding in two weeks!


So its fantastic to be getting married and maybe shocking to most girls but not having to plan in a year is a dream come true! Wedding planning believe it or not brings out the monster and crazy person in most women, if you want to avoid this then follow a few steps and have the perfect quick wedding.

Find a unique venue that won’t take long to book 

  • Look into hiring a restaurant somewhere in a good location that people can get to and that will do most things for you
  • Why not have a winter wedding the prices come down and most things become free – you can have the honeymoon in the sunshine

Make the invitations 

  • Send out virtual invitations first to confirm the date – after you confirm the venue
  • After why not hand make the invitations that way you do it quickly and they are more personal
  • Suggest you go to paperchase and get some handmade ideas – get stamps and post them
  • Make sure you collate everyones address first!

invites_favours_new

Pick a theme 

favours

Get a good priced dress – its a sample place but the service and dresses are AMAZING! 

  • http://fairytalelondon.com/ – This is based in london and there is a real range for all women so try it!
  • Be careful of using any online sites as they are scams most of them I would stick to going into a shop and trying the dress on trust me!
  • If not why not get a plain on and dress it up with accessories

dress

Entertainment 

  • Why not get live music its going to make the night perfect – Jazz band would be fab
  • How about hiring a magician – look up Alex Ward he is fab!
  • To top it off a balloon artist!
  • Make your own photobox experience – get cameras and props ! Polaroid cameras

jazz

Getting hitched – How does it work in the UK!

  • Register your marriage – you have to call up your local registry office and register – all you need to do is book the appointment two weeks before the actual wedding and the interview takes a few minutes
  • You book the registry – google Mayfair library weddings for example
  • You can get married in two weeks and the cost of the room is low – do it!
  • You can hire live music for the actual marriage

registry

https://www.gov.uk/marriages-civil-partnerships/overview

Check list 

  1. Get family and friends to help with the wedding – assign tasks out and invite everyone to get involved
  2. The dress – wait for my next article that tells you what dress suits what body!
  3. Make the invites
  4. Favours can be something small and personal – Tesco have a great site at good prices
  5. Get a friend to take photos – save money and natural photos are much better on the day
  6. Get live music
  7. Why not have a sit down dinner and an evening party just for drinks
  8. Hire a vintage bus – http://thelondonbuscompany.co.uk/
  9. Decorate a vintage bus for guests

bus

 

Decorate the inside of the vintage wedding bus

 

busdec

Five reasons why men stop wanting sex


1) They are in a mood with you 

  • Holding back with the intimacy can occur because they are in a mood with you clearly this is a good reason
  • The argument has turned them off you!
  • Flirt with him and try to make it up to him but don’t push for it sure that things will cool down

2) They want to break up! 

  • They want to break-up and they are holding it back so you get the message that they are not interested, so you break-up with them! Men hate having to do the deed they always try to get the female to do it first
  • Confront the situation in a calm manner and don’t panic

3) He is stressed out 

  • Life is too stressful so he just is not in the mood – try to talk and do relaxing things together

4) He is freaked out about commitment 

  • He is really freaked out  so back off and relax – don’t pressure him!

5) He is worried about his performance 

  • Tell him you have noticed things have changed – tell him how you like it and work on it together – getting this correct will take time!

Watch out for any bogus excuses!

 

Being tempted after you have fallen in love & falling out of the love zone


It’s a funny place to be in once you are in love and then that starts to ware off day by day, the branches start to grow in different directions, and you feel strange or that you are with someone who is no longer comparable. I hear people say that after a year and a half of being together or two years the love wares off slowly, and that is when you either survive or die ( relationship and heart that is ) … For us we are still madly in love and its been a year and eight months.. anyway back to the story!

Signs of the love changing into weeds

  • You start to look at other guys and girls and lust after them manly you want attention from others, not your partner that lust and love is no longer the same
  • You find the stability and familiarity too boring you are looking for new excitement
  • You feel like a different person, perhaps you have new friends and you are looking to explore new jobs and things
  • You don’t want to be so intimate with the person anymore – sex feels strange and awkward
  • You find other people more fun to hang out with – more than the old partner
  • Perhaps you feel you are very different now and you have grown ap
  • You start to lie to each other more
  • Want to go out to nightclubs and parties

How can you keep your relationship fresh 

  • Try to focus on why you loved the person and think of what life would be like without that person
  • what would it be like not to have that relationship and person – put things into perspective
  • Do you see a future together and why ?? there has to be a good reason
  • Ask friends and family for an honest opinion
  • Spend time with your partner being open to trying something new
  • Avoid a situation you can cheat – AVOID when you are having these thoughts!
  • Keep it fresh and go away on a holiday or weekend break together
  • Have time to think if you think it will help to miss them

The rules of a relationship in love cycles find out how it works


I have discovered that most and if not all couples love and relationship dramas go through the “cycle of love” this is down to a theory of the cycles of love years you have got together plus situations and personality

Cycle 1 – Friends Zone / start 

Zone of Confusion 

  • You are getting to know each other dating or just like each other – There is always one who is more sure than the other and one who is trying to impress the other, it’s very  unlikely that two people meet and just fall in love – every heard of the ones you like don’t like you well this is it… You are in the zone of confusion

Cycle 2 Getting to know each other 

Zone of Denial 

  • You start to find out more about the other person and there are things you don’t like you really want them to be as you imagined or wanted. You are faced with finding out more and either working out you have no chemistry or accepting the bad things – If you pass then go to cycle 3 if you not you are calling it a day

Cycle 3  Dating and building up chemistry 

Zone of Lust

  • Cycle three can be taken at any speed depending on the two people but in essence you will be lusting after each other or become better friends it can one of two ways
  • If you are in the lusting phase you are talking on the phone all day and want to rip each others clothes off – maybe trying new things and well you start to see your friends less but still have independence

Cycle 4  Dating and becoming more serious 

Zone of Consideration and introductions /data gathering 

  • You start to introduce your friends and family to your partner to gather data on them to see how suitable they are long-term for you. Normally by this phase its gone one of three ways 1) one is more keen to settle than the other 2) You are both at the same stage 3) one wants to take a step back as it got too hot. This is the real make or break phase – this should happen 6 months into the relationship.
  • Normally the guy can pull away at this stage but he will come back just show him how much you are into him! **

Cycle 5  Two become one 

Zone of Linkage Love Zone 

  • You are spending a huge amount of time together and you start to show the other person the real you without makeup on and start to fart in bed time. You start to fall in love and well love them for the good and the bad. You are on cloud 9 and yeah you are in the love zone!

Cycle 6  Head over heals .. 

Two become one 

  • Here you are seeing each other all the time and you are thinking about moving in together or taking your relationship to the next stage of commitment all the worries of pulling away have gone and you are solid – You know this person is in your future and you are on the road to being solid.
  • Friends that are single start to want to be less friendly and get s bit of the green-eyed monster!

Cycle 7  Comfort Zone  .. 

Things can become boring

  • You are serious and comfortable maybe too much so that you can lose the spark! remember date nights and working on your relationship and you will fly
  • On the other hand you grow to love the person even more and you think about weddings and babies 1 year – 1.5 years in

Cycle 8 Certain Zone 

  • You were made for each other and the relationship is made for each other !
  • Or you just decide you are no longer the same and you need to take a different path!

Girls go mad at 30 .. Life changes and relationships


Life changes at 30..

  • You want to know where your life is going for example are you getting married? do you have a house? babies and is your career in full flight
  • For those of you who are single tend to get to the cling on phase of your relationships when you become desperate for him to ask you for a ring, or if you are single you look to try to find someone who can give you these things in the above paragraph
  • Friends start to compare each other and sometimes they get a bit of the green-eyed monster – It’s the army of the single and the army of the ones who have partners
  • Girls become judged on having these things sorted by 30 this sometimes results in them having babies first so that they ensure the guys marry them and really lowering standards to meet a guy that will give them these things

How to get what you want and need..

  • Firstly look at the things you have achieved so far and feel happy and positive about those things and see the things you didn’t achieve as things you can build on
  • Focus on one key area of change not multiple areas so that you have a better chance of meeting your goal
  • Have a role model to active the goal – Look at someone who has met that goal or who is a role model and talk to them and ask them how they got to where they want to be.. example if you are single its better to hang out with married friends they will give you wise advice
  • Look at why you are not where you want to be – ask friends and family and evaluate these opinions
  • Have a plan – Set yourself a goal of where you want to be by a set period 

Should things change when you become a mother.. Entering motherhood and still having a life!


So a slightly different subject to normal becoming a mother and how do you keep your identity?

I went to my sisters  birthday party and I was shocked to see how attached these women had become to being at home, family and their whole life was this. I didn’t see them having any identity anymore, hobbies or life outside of the family and they did not trust their husbands alone with the kids.

I truly believe that family is important and that your life needs to change when you have kids, you are enjoying a different phase of your life. But I really want to know how you get the balance correct when you become a mother? I would expect you and your husband are able to go away once every six months together to work on your relationship, and seeing friends once a month is acceptable.

Think it scares me that they don’t seem to have anything other than their kids and husband to talk about over dinner… Does this happen to all of us and what can we do to get more of a balance?

What is your experience…