So it’s a little controversial topic but actually happening more often than you think where the women is just into the guy based on how much money they have and not that she is interested in finding love.
So, if a woman loves you for who you are, she’ll want to spend time with you whether you’re footing the bill or not. If she can list off every meal you’ve bought her and everything you’ve purchased for the last month, but doesn’t give a damn when you invite her to a homey get-together with the fam, you may have a gold digger on your hands.
Here are the tell tell signs up front!
1.She never pays for dinner
So the first dinner I agree should be on the man this is the tradition and men get your pennies out on the first date. However if you see she never offers to take you for dinner or pay this is a clear signal that she is after your money. For some reason the dinner scenario is a very good example and test to see if she just enjoys being taken out or if she is willing to pay her way.
2. She loves going shopping but happily takes the gifts
She is always happy for you to pay for gifts even if you offer, she never says no, she just stands back and takes takes takes each time without putting her hand into her pocket. I would take this as a warning sign.
3. Children are old enough but she has made no attempt to work
The kids are old enough and spend most of their time at school and she has still made no attempt to find a part time job or bring in any money. She may have lost her confidence and is scared to work but she should get back to work once the kids are old enough to go to school. Personally I think that you should want to get back to work or earn some money so help contribute to the family even if it’s working from home based jobs.
4. She gets in a temper if you don’t get her what she wants
She starts to get upset and angry with you if you don’t get her what she wants as far as gifts go or posh enough dinners when she is not contributing to it at all. Beggars cannot be choosers!
5. You just have that feeling ..
You just think that she likes you because of money – better to face it sooner than later before she leaves you once you have no money left?? Confront her and see how that goes if she is not after money she won’t get that upset.
6. She is willing to put up with anything for the money
She seems like the ideal woman, happy to clean, cook and be domesticated so you look past the fact that she is only doing it for money! Being unequal can cause issues so really think about this before you become involved.
Get the courage to see through the gold digger!
Firstly sorry its been so long since I have posted I have been on a long holiday from blogging in the hope that I will be fully refreshed and ready with some new content!
I really wanted to address my friends who are single but not because they cannot get a partner but because they are afraid to commit to take a chance and to make the leap out of singlehood.
Philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti says that love has no room for obligation. “When there is love, the word ‘duty’ disappears. It is the man with no love in his heart who talks of rights and duties, and in this country duties and rights have taken the place of love. Regulations have become more important than the warmth of affection.”
Why are you afraid to commit to another person?
1.They fell out of love and it’s not their cup of tea anymore!
Have you ever heard a friend say this to you before? Perhaps they got burnt once being in love and they are actually very afraid of falling in love and becoming a victim of being heart broken again without even knowing it consciously. Quite often these kind of people become quite bitter but secretly they want to fall in love or be in love. Inevitably there is always collateral damage, intensified around that word commitment: “You said you loved me. You promised to stay.” There’s a bad guy and a good guy. Heartbreaker and heartbroken. Rarely is the split mutual, and even then, it’s bumpy as hell.
2. People who have been together a long time have to ride the good and bad times
Quite often I hear my friends say that they have fallen in and out of love a million times in the same relationship so this is evidence that you have to try and ride the relationship waves to be able to commit and have faith that things will get better.
3. Giving up is easy to do in the 21st century these days
So it feels like some women are quite happy to turn to the grass is greener side once things get a bit boring. I know a couple that were together for 6 years and married in a civil church. They were young and never considered that a real marriage. After the six years they decided to tell their parents they wanted to marry in a church and two years after they forked out 20k for a wedding. The guy was bored and on Tinder searching for the girl that matched him now. I am not judging that person as people can change but suddenly after committing he got very scared and suddenly fell in love with a girl he met on Tinder!???
4. They care what their mates think of the girl / boy
Perhaps you have met someone who is not that model you expected to settle down with then she just aint good enough! He/ she cares way too much about what their friends think about the normal girl next door.
5. People are less interesting in marriage
People are less interested in committing and marriage. It’s all changed, I see more people having babies before or without marriage these days. Have things changed? What do you think?
6. Someone who never wants change
My friend has been with her boyfriend for ten years and she desperately wants changes to happen in the relationship but nothing ever changes. He won’t commit to getting married, having kids or even living together but she has not attempted to try and make any changes. She and her good nature are being used. He is the perfect example of someone who is afraid of commitment
“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”
Welcome back from DD! Sorry I have neglected my blog for a little while, we were busy planning our wedding then got busy getting married and then went on honeymoon! Anyway enough about me, in summary I missed my blog and readers!
I noticed many of my friends are having babies first before getting married and other friends are marrying same-sex, things have really changed and I wanted to know what you all think of it!?
- There is a good reason why things should go in a specific order marriage, kids and so on… It’s important for a couple to bond together and at every stage to become prepared for each stage and having some time to enjoy married life together before having kids will prepare you both for kids and let’s be honest life changes once the little ones come
- Many women pressure men into getting married through having children first and not sure they would admit this out loud – Would he marry you without the baby ?
- Loads of people use money as an excuse not to get married – but you can do it on the cheap even get to a beach and get married
- Finding someone to love you is hard and loving them back in the same way is harder, you need to give it time and don’t force things
- Don’t panic and find any man and marry him, please do some digging and research before heading down that road, for example if my ex’s girlfriend knew his past she would not go to near him! Be safe and not sorry!
- Don’t rush as you think you are running out of time – things will happen for you just have faith in yourself
- To find love does not come easily so hold out for the correct person and don’t become desperate
I have discovered that most and if not all couples love and relationship dramas go through the “cycle of love” this is down to a theory of the cycles of love years you have got together plus situations and personality
Cycle 1 – Friends Zone / start
Zone of Confusion
- You are getting to know each other dating or just like each other – There is always one who is more sure than the other and one who is trying to impress the other, it’s very unlikely that two people meet and just fall in love – every heard of the ones you like don’t like you well this is it… You are in the zone of confusion
Cycle 2 Getting to know each other
Zone of Denial
- You start to find out more about the other person and there are things you don’t like you really want them to be as you imagined or wanted. You are faced with finding out more and either working out you have no chemistry or accepting the bad things – If you pass then go to cycle 3 if you not you are calling it a day
Cycle 3 Dating and building up chemistry
Zone of Lust
- Cycle three can be taken at any speed depending on the two people but in essence you will be lusting after each other or become better friends it can one of two ways
- If you are in the lusting phase you are talking on the phone all day and want to rip each others clothes off – maybe trying new things and well you start to see your friends less but still have independence
Cycle 4 Dating and becoming more serious
Zone of Consideration and introductions /data gathering
- You start to introduce your friends and family to your partner to gather data on them to see how suitable they are long-term for you. Normally by this phase its gone one of three ways 1) one is more keen to settle than the other 2) You are both at the same stage 3) one wants to take a step back as it got too hot. This is the real make or break phase – this should happen 6 months into the relationship.
- Normally the guy can pull away at this stage but he will come back just show him how much you are into him! **
Cycle 5 Two become one
Zone of Linkage Love Zone
- You are spending a huge amount of time together and you start to show the other person the real you without makeup on and start to fart in bed time. You start to fall in love and well love them for the good and the bad. You are on cloud 9 and yeah you are in the love zone!
Cycle 6 Head over heals ..
Two become one
- Here you are seeing each other all the time and you are thinking about moving in together or taking your relationship to the next stage of commitment all the worries of pulling away have gone and you are solid – You know this person is in your future and you are on the road to being solid.
- Friends that are single start to want to be less friendly and get s bit of the green-eyed monster!
Cycle 7 Comfort Zone ..
Things can become boring
- You are serious and comfortable maybe too much so that you can lose the spark! remember date nights and working on your relationship and you will fly
- On the other hand you grow to love the person even more and you think about weddings and babies 1 year – 1.5 years in
Cycle 8 Certain Zone
- You were made for each other and the relationship is made for each other !
- Or you just decide you are no longer the same and you need to take a different path!
So a slightly different subject to normal becoming a mother and how do you keep your identity?
I went to my sisters birthday party and I was shocked to see how attached these women had become to being at home, family and their whole life was this. I didn’t see them having any identity anymore, hobbies or life outside of the family and they did not trust their husbands alone with the kids.
I truly believe that family is important and that your life needs to change when you have kids, you are enjoying a different phase of your life. But I really want to know how you get the balance correct when you become a mother? I would expect you and your husband are able to go away once every six months together to work on your relationship, and seeing friends once a month is acceptable.
Think it scares me that they don’t seem to have anything other than their kids and husband to talk about over dinner… Does this happen to all of us and what can we do to get more of a balance?
What is your experience…
1) Figure out what you are really looking for – It’s important that you know what you are looking for in a man;Sometimes people fool themselves into thinking they want something different from what they truly desire. For example, you might think you need someone who is good-looking, smart, funny and sensitive. But do you? Isn’t this what everyone thinks they want? How do you know this is what you want? Have you ever been with someone who was all these things? The point here, is you need to be more realistic. Here’s how. Look at your past.Work out what you don’t want and decide how open you are? Make a list of your top 10 items like a checklist of the top things you want and top things you don’t like, then discuss this with family and friends.
- Ensure you are not wasting time on people who are not meeting this criteria time wasters = TW not good
- Make the list of physical and emotional traits so that you look for and don’t look for in a person
- Its worth looking at your last relationship and looking for the things that worked well and didn’t work for you
2) Get out of the house and away from where you work. It’s very easy to get in a rut. We get up, get ready, go to work, come home, clean up, eat and then crash. You’re not going to meet anybody with that routine. Not only does it keep you in the same places you always are, which obviously isn’t working or you wouldn’t be reading this, but it runs you down, makes you tired and less interested in looking or being looked at by others. You need to break out of your habits.
- Try new things and go to new places always be open to try new things and meet new people – This is called DW = Date networking
- Remember to not put your job first I think you need to live a balanced life to ensure you meet the correct person and have enough time to do it
- Be open to online dating – worth a try in open safe areas
3) Be kind. It won’t kill you. Give the guys a break now and then. Say please and thank you. Say hello and goodbye. Wave. Give compliments freely and accept them with grace. Be friendly and inviting even if you have no interest in the person you are talking to. It won’t matter, because being kind is something that will do you well regardless of the circumstances. People respond to kindness. It will cause them to like you. That’s a very good thing when you’re trying to attract a man.
- Say if you don’t like a guy now and you are just friends you may well like him later or he may have friends you like, so be friendly as you never know who is around the corner
- There are many options and being kind is the best option in most cases
4) Try new things; Learn new things. Sign up for cooking lessons. Or Spanish lessons. Go to the library to do research on the mating habits of the bobcat. Or the park to figure out what kinds of flowers are growing. Dig up your family history. Go to a national park to see what all the fuss is about. Or take up archery. Or get online and learn about football or baseball and then go to a game. Learn something new, and keep doing that. An inquisitive mind is an attractive thing. And a well read mind is great for conversation.
- Men like it when they are the not the centre of your life and you have a life outside of them and interests
- They find new skills and learning intelligent and interesting and it makes good conversation over dinner and drinks
- Try new things to keep you busy – This is a good thing when you are single anyway to fill your time is never a bad thing
5) Get happy. Smile. Loosen up. A smile is more attractive to a man than any outfit you might wear. Not only does smiling make you more attractive to look at, it tells others that you are someone who smiles, which means you are someone who is happy. And guys like happy girls, no doubt about it.
- Be happy and smile – don’t look stressed when starting to get to know someone ( don’t talk badly of others, and don’t talk negatively)
- Create a happy yet natural environment so that men want to approach you – unapproachable women are unobtainable
Good luck and let me know how it goes xoxo