How to breakup with someone! How to stay positive!


date

We talked allot about how to meet new people and how to get past the first date but we have not covered breaking up. Breaking up is the most horrible topic to discuss as it’s depressing and has a sad stigma attached to it.

In any relationship, there are good days and there are bad days. For instance, you might want to do something that your partner is completely opposed to, or she might want to go shopping for the apartment when all you want to do is stay at home and relax with the game or a movie. This is part and parcel of being one half of a couple.

However it’s not all bad many good things come out of breaking up with someone you never know who is around the corner and how your life will turn around years down the line.

Positives takeaways from a breakup 

  • You can try things on your own that you never thought you could ever do before you were on your own – I remember my dad telling me to enjoy the time on my own while I can – I decided to travel to the countries I wanted to go to, to try the things he never wanted to do with me and well to go out and party as I wanted to!
  • You feel a weight has been lifted once you are out of the situation as hard as it is you can finally focus on your own future
  • Being on your own you can spread out in the bed in a star shape and enjoy the freedom of your own bed
  • Its a fresh start go and get a new look and cut all your hair off if you really want to
  • Come home at whatever time you want to nobody will ask you where you are and what time you will get home

happy

What are the first signs that there is a problem

Askmen says …

When you first got together with your other half, you couldn’t stop contacting each other. Whether it was on the phone, via text messaging or using e-mail and other online messenger systems, speaking to each other almost every hour was the norm. Now, however, you can’t even be bothered to text her, let alone call. On top of this, you’ve deliberately started to ignore her attempts to contact you. Caller ID has never been so useful and a breakup has never been more imminent.

One of the most natural and exciting parts of being involved with someone is planning the future together. You’re perfectly content to plan for the holidays, dream about where you want to make your home, and ponder possible names for your kids because it gives you a feeling of safety. These thoughts of the future perpetuate the sentiment that the two of you will always be a loving couple that grows old together.

I think if you are doubting your relationship its normal but if you stop loving a person its really the end of the road

Be brave and positive and nothing can you that badly

How to breakup

  • Have a face to face conversation over dinner if you are scared that the person may go mental best to be in a public and safe place ( perhaps move your stuff out secretly before telling them
  • If it’s mutual you can get a coffee and a walk – walking and talking by the river or water is a relaxing way to do it
  • Parting on a good note is always the best way revenge and stuff like that will stay with you for a lifetime so try and part on good terms
  • Do it over text if you are a coward but I think this is spineless
  • Stay friends! This is the best advice!

online-dating-b

What should you do after the breakup

  • Stay with family or friends be calm don’t drink alcohol it will depress you more
  • Exercise and keep fit and healthy
  • Try not to contact your partner for a good few weeks while the dust settles
  • Good luck with the new start I am excited for you and know you will meet the correct person for you
  • Now get back to dating and stay focused on meeting the best person when you are ready!

wedding

XOXO DD

 

Advertisements

17 online dates Date Two! POF Plenty of FIsh.com


Thanks to my friend who tried 17 online dating sites and 17 dates! She did not want to be named!

So it’s becoming much easier to meet new people now I have tried on-line dating for the second time. We start to go through the same route; message a little, then send some text messages and we meet ( it’s all becoming more normal)

Second site and its Plenty Of Fish .. This site looks cheap like its been knocked up in the garage by some kid on a weekend. However its easy to use and more importantly its FREE! I think that this was the first free site that started up and it became much bigger than expected.

First Impressions of POF

  • It’s easy to use and user-friendly but looks cheap and I think it attracts stranger people than Match
  • Its seems less sophisticated than Match.com and really has an edge of desperation
  • However I managed to get a date so lets see what happens next

The Date

I managed to get a date with a surgeon who told me he liked cake, when we met up he seemed nice he had a flashy car and was good on paper so far… so good… Immediately after talking for a while I found out he was moving to Manchester soon so why did he want to date me in London. Anyway we had a drink and there was no spark! I hate to say it but so far the Match.com date was better even though he was not my ideal man! This site seemed to attract a different class of male yet was Free! This was not for me TW – Time wasters

Next!

Girls go mad at 30 .. Life changes and relationships


Life changes at 30..

  • You want to know where your life is going for example are you getting married? do you have a house? babies and is your career in full flight
  • For those of you who are single tend to get to the cling on phase of your relationships when you become desperate for him to ask you for a ring, or if you are single you look to try to find someone who can give you these things in the above paragraph
  • Friends start to compare each other and sometimes they get a bit of the green-eyed monster – It’s the army of the single and the army of the ones who have partners
  • Girls become judged on having these things sorted by 30 this sometimes results in them having babies first so that they ensure the guys marry them and really lowering standards to meet a guy that will give them these things

How to get what you want and need..

  • Firstly look at the things you have achieved so far and feel happy and positive about those things and see the things you didn’t achieve as things you can build on
  • Focus on one key area of change not multiple areas so that you have a better chance of meeting your goal
  • Have a role model to active the goal – Look at someone who has met that goal or who is a role model and talk to them and ask them how they got to where they want to be.. example if you are single its better to hang out with married friends they will give you wise advice
  • Look at why you are not where you want to be – ask friends and family and evaluate these opinions
  • Have a plan – Set yourself a goal of where you want to be by a set period 

Should things change when you become a mother.. Entering motherhood and still having a life!


So a slightly different subject to normal becoming a mother and how do you keep your identity?

I went to my sisters  birthday party and I was shocked to see how attached these women had become to being at home, family and their whole life was this. I didn’t see them having any identity anymore, hobbies or life outside of the family and they did not trust their husbands alone with the kids.

I truly believe that family is important and that your life needs to change when you have kids, you are enjoying a different phase of your life. But I really want to know how you get the balance correct when you become a mother? I would expect you and your husband are able to go away once every six months together to work on your relationship, and seeing friends once a month is acceptable.

Think it scares me that they don’t seem to have anything other than their kids and husband to talk about over dinner… Does this happen to all of us and what can we do to get more of a balance?

What is your experience…

 

“I desperately need a man – How I can get a man in 5 easy steps to get a man!


1) Figure out what you are really looking for – It’s important that you know what you are looking for in a man;Sometimes people fool themselves into thinking they want something different from what they truly desire. For example, you might think you need someone who is good-looking, smart, funny and sensitive. But do you? Isn’t this what everyone thinks they want? How do you know this is what you want? Have you ever been with someone who was all these things? The point here, is you need to be more realistic. Here’s how. Look at your past.Work out what you don’t want and decide how open you are? Make a list of your top 10 items like a checklist of the top things you want and top things you don’t like, then discuss this with family and friends.

  • Ensure you are not wasting time on people who are not meeting this criteria time wasters = TW not good
  • Make the list of physical and emotional traits so that you look for and don’t look for in a person
  • Its worth looking at your last relationship and looking for the things that worked well and didn’t work for you

2) Get out of the house and away from where you work. It’s very easy to get in a rut. We get up, get ready, go to work, come home, clean up, eat and then crash. You’re not going to meet anybody with that routine. Not only does it keep you in the same places you always are, which obviously isn’t working or you wouldn’t be reading this, but it runs you down, makes you tired and less interested in looking or being looked at by others. You need to break out of your habits.

  • Try new things and go to new places always be open to try new things and meet new people – This is called DW = Date networking
  • Remember to not put your job first I think you need to live a balanced life to ensure you meet the correct person and have enough time to do it
  • Be open to online dating – worth a try in open safe areas

3) Be kind. It won’t kill you. Give the guys a break now and then. Say please and thank you. Say hello and goodbye. Wave. Give compliments freely and accept them with grace. Be friendly and inviting even if you have no interest in the person you are talking to. It won’t matter, because being kind is something that will do you well regardless of the circumstances. People respond to kindness. It will cause them to like you. That’s a very good thing when you’re trying to attract a man.

  • Say if you don’t like a guy now and you are just friends you may well like him later or he may have friends you like, so be friendly as you never know who is around the corner
  • There are many options and being kind is the best option in most cases

4) Try new things; Learn new things. Sign up for cooking lessons. Or Spanish lessons. Go to the library to do research on the mating habits of the bobcat. Or the park to figure out what kinds of flowers are growing. Dig up your family history. Go to a national park to see what all the fuss is about. Or take up archery. Or get online and learn about football or baseball and then go to a game. Learn something new, and keep doing that. An inquisitive mind is an attractive thing. And a well read mind is great for conversation.

  • Men like it when they are the not the centre of your life and you have a life outside of them and interests
  • They find new skills and learning intelligent and interesting and it makes good conversation over dinner and drinks
  • Try new things to keep you busy – This is a good thing when you are single anyway to fill your time is never a bad thing

5) Get happy. Smile. Loosen up. A smile is more attractive to a man than any outfit you might wear. Not only does smiling make you more attractive to look at, it tells others that you are someone who smiles, which means you are someone who is happy. And guys like happy girls, no doubt about it.

  • Be happy and smile – don’t look stressed when starting to get to know someone ( don’t talk badly of others, and don’t talk negatively)
  • Create a happy yet natural environment so that men want to approach you – unapproachable women are unobtainable

Good luck and let me know how it goes xoxo

Why do men pull away?


Does this sound familiar to you?

You have finally met a great guy .. maybe it was through friends, maybe online dating, or on a night out.

And even though you know it’s probably too soon, in your mind you start planning your future together with him … that future with prince charming, that you have wanted since you were 5 years old.

Then all of a sudden something changes …

He disappears all of a sudden.

No more phone calls or txts. No pursuing you. And the times that you do see him, he just doesn’t seem that interested.

All of a sudden you are back where you started again … heart broken and alone.

Would you agree with me when I say … You FEEL like he has LIED to you?

On top of that you feel stupid and annoyed for letting yourself getting hurt by a man again.

The 3 Reasons Why Men Pull Away …

1. Getting Emotionally Involved Too Early

Men will often pull away when a woman gets too emotionally involved too early on in the relationship. In other words she is coming across as too eager and too invested in the relationship. Men are not as emotional as women, and this can be too much for him to handle.

Always keep in mind that a man likes the chase. If you are going to be the woman he commits to, instead of just another casual partner. He needs to feel like he has earned you.

Even if you feel like you have controlled your emotions with him, you may still have triggered something that has caused him to pull away.

2. The Connection Is Not Strong Enough

It could be that the guy is simply a player. He may have another woman that he is interested in. Or maybe it is his career. These are all valid reasons as why men pull away in the early stages.

But, it is most likely that the women hasn’t managed to develop a deep enough attraction with him, in order for him to CHOOSE to be with her.

3. Commitment Needs To Be HIS Choice.

All great men desire to be in a serious relationship. But he has to feel like HE alone is making the choice to commit to a woman. As a guy I may be very interested in a future with a woman that I am dating. But the second that I am pressured into a commitment, particularly if I am not ready for it … then I will run for the hills … so will any other man.

He MUST feel like he is the one making the choice to commit to you … This HINT is something you can use to your advantage!