Signs that show you’re in a committed relationship


love-issues

The Daily Mail  newspaper says..

Planning a holiday, driving each others’ cars and having a key to your partner’s flat are all signs a relationship has got serious, a new survey reveals.

Researchers quizzed 2,000 people to reveal the top 50 things which indicate a couple are past the ‘seeing each other’ phase.

Posting a ‘loved-up’ photo on Facebook, changing your status to ‘in a relationship’ and being introduced to wider friendships circles also show couples are the ‘real deal.’

It’s also proven that the girls are happy to go out without makeup on and dressing up is also no longer such a big deal as you have started to feel more comfortable and relaxed. The guy has started to like you as a whole and is less focused on your physical appearance. However not to say you should let yourself go now but you should be more relaxed.

Around the six month to one year mark you should be talking about moving in together so that you get to know each other properly. Some people say bound on religious purposes that they only want to move in together once they are married. Well this is a serious risk as you really only know someone once you get married to start off with.

Meeting your partner’s parents and friends is also important as you become more serious with each other and becoming the other person’s plus one on invites and christmas events and cards.

The study also shows two in 10 people knew their current relationship was serious after they planned a holiday together, while 43 per cent said the words ‘I love you’ and the same percentage discussed moving in together.

Indeed two-thirds of people polled and in a relationship claimed they felt their first holiday together was a real milestone and demonstrated how committed they were to each other.

Someone I know said his mortgage means more than a marriage and kids he is well committed now that they have a house together. I would say that this is not very romantic but that is how some people see commitment these days. What do you think?

Another wise friend said to me commitment is when you put your partner before yourself and yourself after your partner then you know you are committed.

It’s obvious that commitment means something different to each couple and individual, it is very important that you have the correct level of commitment in your relationship that you feel happy with. For example if you have a mis-matched level of commitment in a relationship then this will cause big issues. If one person wants marriage and kids and the other person does not want it then this is a major mis-match.

Watch out girls after nagging a guy for ages they suddenly say they have changed their mind about something like marriage or kids I would be dubious, believe it when you see it. Many men just drag things out to keep you quiet or happy! Don’t be a victim that it becomes too late and you can no longer have the things you want. Or you are too old to move on!

Love DD XOX

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She is just after his money not love!


gold-digger

So it’s a little controversial topic but actually happening more often than you think where the women is just into the guy based on how much money they have and not that she is interested in finding love.

So, if a woman loves you for who you are, she’ll want to spend time with you whether you’re footing the bill or not. If she can list off every meal you’ve bought her and everything you’ve purchased for the last month, but doesn’t give a damn when you invite her to a homey get-together with the fam, you may have a gold digger on your hands.

Here are the tell tell signs up front!

1.She never pays for dinner

So the first dinner I agree should be on the man this is the tradition and men get your pennies out on the first date. However if you see she never offers to take you for dinner or pay this is a clear signal that she is after your money. For some reason the dinner scenario is a very good example and test to see if she just enjoys being taken out or if she is willing to pay her way.

2. She loves going shopping but happily takes the gifts

She is always happy for you to pay for gifts even if you offer, she never says no, she just stands back and takes takes takes each time without putting her hand into her pocket. I would take this as a warning sign.

3. Children are old enough but she has made no attempt to work

The kids are old enough and spend most of their time at school and she has still made no attempt to find a part time job or bring in any money. She may have lost her confidence and is scared to work but she should get back to work once the kids are old enough to go to school.  Personally I think that you should want to get back to work or earn some money so help contribute to the family even if it’s working from home based jobs.

4. She gets in a temper if you don’t get her what she wants

She starts to get upset and angry with you if you don’t get her what she wants as far as gifts go or posh enough dinners when she is not contributing to it at all. Beggars cannot be choosers!

5. You just have that feeling ..

You just think that she likes you because of money – better to face it sooner than later before she leaves you once you have no money left?? Confront her and see how that goes if she is not after money she won’t get that upset.

6. She is willing to put up with anything for the money

She seems like the ideal woman, happy to clean, cook and be domesticated so you look past the fact that she is only doing it for money! Being unequal can cause issues so really think about this before you become involved.

Get the courage to see through the gold digger!

Why Are People Afraid to Commit to each other?


commitment

Firstly sorry its been so long since I have posted I have been on a long holiday from blogging in the hope that I will be fully refreshed and ready with some new content!

I really wanted to address my friends who are single but not because they cannot get a partner but because they are afraid to commit to take a chance and to make the leap out of singlehood.

Philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti says that love has no room for obligation. “When there is love, the word ‘duty’ disappears. It is the man with no love in his heart who talks of rights and duties, and in this country duties and rights have taken the place of love. Regulations have become more important than the warmth of affection.”

Why are you afraid to commit to another person?

1.They fell out of love and it’s not their cup of tea anymore!

Have you ever heard a friend say this to you before? Perhaps they got burnt once being in love and they are actually very afraid of falling in love and becoming a victim of being heart broken again without even knowing it consciously. Quite often these kind of people become quite bitter but secretly they want to fall in love or be in love. Inevitably there is always collateral damage, intensified around that word commitment: “You said you loved me. You promised to stay.” There’s a bad guy and a good guy. Heartbreaker and heartbroken. Rarely is the split mutual, and even then, it’s bumpy as hell.

2. People who have been together a long time have to ride the good and bad times

Quite often I hear my friends say that they have fallen in and out of love a million times in the same relationship so this is evidence that you have to try and ride the relationship waves to be able to commit and have faith that things will get better.

3. Giving up is easy to do in the 21st century these days

So it feels like some women are quite happy to turn to the grass is greener side once things get a bit boring. I know a couple that were together for 6 years and married in a civil church. They were young and never considered that a real marriage. After the six years they decided to tell their parents they wanted to marry in a church and two years after they forked out 20k for a wedding. The guy was bored and on Tinder searching for the girl that matched him now. I am not judging that person as people can change but suddenly after committing he got very scared and suddenly fell in love with a girl he met on Tinder!???

4. They care what their mates think of the girl / boy

Perhaps you have met someone who is not that model you expected to settle down with then she just aint good enough! He/ she cares way too much about what their friends think about the normal girl next door.

5. People are less interesting in marriage

People are less interested in committing and marriage. It’s all changed, I see more people having babies before or without marriage these days. Have things changed? What do you think?

6. Someone who never wants change

My friend has been with her boyfriend for ten years and she desperately wants changes to happen in the relationship but nothing ever changes. He won’t commit to getting married, having kids or even living together but she has not attempted to try and make any changes. She and her good nature are being used. He is the perfect example of someone who is afraid of commitment

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”

XOX DD

 

 

 

Dear love ….ps I love you


Dear love

I wasn’t a strong believer in love before I met you, perhaps it’s because I have never been in love before. Love to me is special, meaningful and means the world to me. However it’s difficult and takes hard work and care maybe even nurturing so it grows and stays happy.
Meeting the one you love only happens one in a million times, by this I mean someone you care unconditionally for and connect with in so many levels.

It’s fear that made us argue and the unknown that made me snap at you. I know now that you are the best part of me and I’m the best part of you and together we are at our best.

Love makes you weak as when you are apart you become half a person, half a heart and half of happiness. Together we can achieve so much and I believe we can change the world in our own way.

I think we met and we became best friends. Our friendship turned into unconditional love and then one day we got married.
I’m creative and messy and life is one big ball of hecticness. Without you I’d be at parties and probably would have met someone boring.

You’re organised, loving and your heart is made of gold. You love my cooking, food makes you very happy.
Now we get ready to become parents and we can make our mistakes together in harmony. Love is enough for us. Our children will be the best part of us I hope. Let’s hold hands and skip towards our next journey.

We don’t have chemistry…


Chemistry has a purpose. It’s not random; it’s not a fluke. There’s essential information in the attraction that occurs between two people.

It’s important for us to know what chemistry is so we can use it to feel more love in our lives. Without understanding that there’s a secret order to love, we feel out of control. And no one likes that.

Don’t worry, you’re not out of control. You’re just in love. And there’s a reason you feel a strong chemical attraction towards the people you do. That’s what I’m going to discuss today.

I often hear people talk about chemistry as if it’s a bad thing. Like we should be wary of the people we’re attracted to the most. And I understand why this is a common warning: Because these people tend to bring our issues to the surface.

It’s true that strong attraction makes for a wild ride in love. But the question is: Is this really a bad thing?

Some people will say yes. Sure, if you want life to be easy then the path of strong attraction isn’t for you (Side note: Is there an easy path? I’m still trying to figure that one out). Of course, we all want love to be uncomplicated. But we are complicated! So why would our relationships be anything less?

From a spiritual perspective, love is supposed to be a wild ride. This doesn’t mean that we stick around in relationships that are abusive or feel horrible to be in. But it does mean we recognize that love will provoke us to grow into fuller versions of ourselves. And this isn’t easy!

Feelings such as of insecurity, doubt, fear, jealousy, judgement, and contempt (all ego feelings) will appear with the people we desire most. Because of this, many of us categorize these highly attractive relationships as “bad” or “unhealthy.” Spiritually speaking, however, these relationships are doing what they’re supposed to do — they’re provoking your ego to surface so you can transform it.

When we remember that relationships are meant to teach us growth, we approach the “bad” very differently. We know that there is a lesson in every challenge — that lesson is to regain a connection to love.

Lessons of love take on many different forms. Sometimes reconnecting with love means leaving the relationship. Sometimes reconnecting with love means sticking around and working through the challenges. Sometimes the lesson is learning to forgive your partner. Sometimes the lesson is learning to forgive yourself.

Yes, we all want peace in relationships; they’re supposed to be blissful and loving. And when they aren’t, we know we’ve fallen off the path of love and we have to get back on track. This is how we grow.

Don’t bypass or downplay the chemistry you feel; remember that it exists for a reason. The people you’re most attracted to are your greatest teachers in love. Show up for the lessons they have for you.

Are women doing things the less traditional way these days?!


Welcome back from DD! Sorry I have neglected my blog for a little while, we were busy planning our wedding then got busy getting married and then went on honeymoon! Anyway enough about me, in summary I missed my blog and readers!

I noticed many of my friends are having babies first before getting married and other friends are marrying same-sex, things have really changed and I wanted to know what you all think of it!?

  • There is a good reason why things should go in a specific order marriage, kids and so on… It’s important for a couple to bond together and at every stage to become prepared for each stage and having some time to enjoy married life together before having kids will prepare you both for kids and let’s be honest life changes once the little ones come
  • Many women pressure men into getting married through having children first and not sure they would admit this out loud – Would he marry you without the baby ?
  • Loads of people use money as an excuse not to get married – but you can do it on the cheap even get to a beach and get married
  • Finding someone to love you is hard and loving them back in the same way is harder, you need to give it time and don’t force things
  • Don’t panic and find any man and marry him, please do some digging and research before heading down that road, for example if my ex’s girlfriend knew his past she would not go to near him! Be safe and not sorry!
  • Don’t rush as you think you are running out of time – things will happen for you just have faith in yourself
  • To find love does not come easily so hold out for the correct person and don’t become desperate

Good luck

Being tempted after you have fallen in love & falling out of the love zone


It’s a funny place to be in once you are in love and then that starts to ware off day by day, the branches start to grow in different directions, and you feel strange or that you are with someone who is no longer comparable. I hear people say that after a year and a half of being together or two years the love wares off slowly, and that is when you either survive or die ( relationship and heart that is ) … For us we are still madly in love and its been a year and eight months.. anyway back to the story!

Signs of the love changing into weeds

  • You start to look at other guys and girls and lust after them manly you want attention from others, not your partner that lust and love is no longer the same
  • You find the stability and familiarity too boring you are looking for new excitement
  • You feel like a different person, perhaps you have new friends and you are looking to explore new jobs and things
  • You don’t want to be so intimate with the person anymore – sex feels strange and awkward
  • You find other people more fun to hang out with – more than the old partner
  • Perhaps you feel you are very different now and you have grown ap
  • You start to lie to each other more
  • Want to go out to nightclubs and parties

How can you keep your relationship fresh 

  • Try to focus on why you loved the person and think of what life would be like without that person
  • what would it be like not to have that relationship and person – put things into perspective
  • Do you see a future together and why ?? there has to be a good reason
  • Ask friends and family for an honest opinion
  • Spend time with your partner being open to trying something new
  • Avoid a situation you can cheat – AVOID when you are having these thoughts!
  • Keep it fresh and go away on a holiday or weekend break together
  • Have time to think if you think it will help to miss them