How to breakup with someone! How to stay positive!


date

We talked allot about how to meet new people and how to get past the first date but we have not covered breaking up. Breaking up is the most horrible topic to discuss as it’s depressing and has a sad stigma attached to it.

In any relationship, there are good days and there are bad days. For instance, you might want to do something that your partner is completely opposed to, or she might want to go shopping for the apartment when all you want to do is stay at home and relax with the game or a movie. This is part and parcel of being one half of a couple.

However it’s not all bad many good things come out of breaking up with someone you never know who is around the corner and how your life will turn around years down the line.

Positives takeaways from a breakup 

  • You can try things on your own that you never thought you could ever do before you were on your own – I remember my dad telling me to enjoy the time on my own while I can – I decided to travel to the countries I wanted to go to, to try the things he never wanted to do with me and well to go out and party as I wanted to!
  • You feel a weight has been lifted once you are out of the situation as hard as it is you can finally focus on your own future
  • Being on your own you can spread out in the bed in a star shape and enjoy the freedom of your own bed
  • Its a fresh start go and get a new look and cut all your hair off if you really want to
  • Come home at whatever time you want to nobody will ask you where you are and what time you will get home

happy

What are the first signs that there is a problem

Askmen says …

When you first got together with your other half, you couldn’t stop contacting each other. Whether it was on the phone, via text messaging or using e-mail and other online messenger systems, speaking to each other almost every hour was the norm. Now, however, you can’t even be bothered to text her, let alone call. On top of this, you’ve deliberately started to ignore her attempts to contact you. Caller ID has never been so useful and a breakup has never been more imminent.

One of the most natural and exciting parts of being involved with someone is planning the future together. You’re perfectly content to plan for the holidays, dream about where you want to make your home, and ponder possible names for your kids because it gives you a feeling of safety. These thoughts of the future perpetuate the sentiment that the two of you will always be a loving couple that grows old together.

I think if you are doubting your relationship its normal but if you stop loving a person its really the end of the road

Be brave and positive and nothing can you that badly

How to breakup

  • Have a face to face conversation over dinner if you are scared that the person may go mental best to be in a public and safe place ( perhaps move your stuff out secretly before telling them
  • If it’s mutual you can get a coffee and a walk – walking and talking by the river or water is a relaxing way to do it
  • Parting on a good note is always the best way revenge and stuff like that will stay with you for a lifetime so try and part on good terms
  • Do it over text if you are a coward but I think this is spineless
  • Stay friends! This is the best advice!

online-dating-b

What should you do after the breakup

  • Stay with family or friends be calm don’t drink alcohol it will depress you more
  • Exercise and keep fit and healthy
  • Try not to contact your partner for a good few weeks while the dust settles
  • Good luck with the new start I am excited for you and know you will meet the correct person for you
  • Now get back to dating and stay focused on meeting the best person when you are ready!

wedding

XOXO DD

 

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Why Are People Afraid to Commit to each other?


commitment

Firstly sorry its been so long since I have posted I have been on a long holiday from blogging in the hope that I will be fully refreshed and ready with some new content!

I really wanted to address my friends who are single but not because they cannot get a partner but because they are afraid to commit to take a chance and to make the leap out of singlehood.

Philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti says that love has no room for obligation. “When there is love, the word ‘duty’ disappears. It is the man with no love in his heart who talks of rights and duties, and in this country duties and rights have taken the place of love. Regulations have become more important than the warmth of affection.”

Why are you afraid to commit to another person?

1.They fell out of love and it’s not their cup of tea anymore!

Have you ever heard a friend say this to you before? Perhaps they got burnt once being in love and they are actually very afraid of falling in love and becoming a victim of being heart broken again without even knowing it consciously. Quite often these kind of people become quite bitter but secretly they want to fall in love or be in love. Inevitably there is always collateral damage, intensified around that word commitment: “You said you loved me. You promised to stay.” There’s a bad guy and a good guy. Heartbreaker and heartbroken. Rarely is the split mutual, and even then, it’s bumpy as hell.

2. People who have been together a long time have to ride the good and bad times

Quite often I hear my friends say that they have fallen in and out of love a million times in the same relationship so this is evidence that you have to try and ride the relationship waves to be able to commit and have faith that things will get better.

3. Giving up is easy to do in the 21st century these days

So it feels like some women are quite happy to turn to the grass is greener side once things get a bit boring. I know a couple that were together for 6 years and married in a civil church. They were young and never considered that a real marriage. After the six years they decided to tell their parents they wanted to marry in a church and two years after they forked out 20k for a wedding. The guy was bored and on Tinder searching for the girl that matched him now. I am not judging that person as people can change but suddenly after committing he got very scared and suddenly fell in love with a girl he met on Tinder!???

4. They care what their mates think of the girl / boy

Perhaps you have met someone who is not that model you expected to settle down with then she just aint good enough! He/ she cares way too much about what their friends think about the normal girl next door.

5. People are less interesting in marriage

People are less interested in committing and marriage. It’s all changed, I see more people having babies before or without marriage these days. Have things changed? What do you think?

6. Someone who never wants change

My friend has been with her boyfriend for ten years and she desperately wants changes to happen in the relationship but nothing ever changes. He won’t commit to getting married, having kids or even living together but she has not attempted to try and make any changes. She and her good nature are being used. He is the perfect example of someone who is afraid of commitment

“You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free.”

XOX DD

 

 

 

Dear love ….ps I love you


Dear love

I wasn’t a strong believer in love before I met you, perhaps it’s because I have never been in love before. Love to me is special, meaningful and means the world to me. However it’s difficult and takes hard work and care maybe even nurturing so it grows and stays happy.
Meeting the one you love only happens one in a million times, by this I mean someone you care unconditionally for and connect with in so many levels.

It’s fear that made us argue and the unknown that made me snap at you. I know now that you are the best part of me and I’m the best part of you and together we are at our best.

Love makes you weak as when you are apart you become half a person, half a heart and half of happiness. Together we can achieve so much and I believe we can change the world in our own way.

I think we met and we became best friends. Our friendship turned into unconditional love and then one day we got married.
I’m creative and messy and life is one big ball of hecticness. Without you I’d be at parties and probably would have met someone boring.

You’re organised, loving and your heart is made of gold. You love my cooking, food makes you very happy.
Now we get ready to become parents and we can make our mistakes together in harmony. Love is enough for us. Our children will be the best part of us I hope. Let’s hold hands and skip towards our next journey.

Nobody is perfect – How to get over the rebound stage!


Its hard not to be on the rebound months or even years after a relationship and I say this with caution. It’s all about comparing the new person with the last person and really accepting that no person is perfect. You will find one thing that is certain and that is the fact that is that people are different and their qualities are different.

Its hard not to compare people with each other because this is how the human brain works and its natural to do this. Accepting the choices you made and the reasons why you made them is really important as you know that the one you picked it deep down the best one for you.

Forgetting the past is hard and its easy for girlfriends to tell you just get over him he was a *&%&^… well the bad news is that it’s a long journey to truly move  on and if anyone disagrees then they never had anything to lose. It’s difficult as you lose a friend or perhaps a fatherly figure. If you wonder why it still hurts be honest with yourself and move on when you are ready.

My best advise to you is learning to forget the past is not always the best way but learning from it is much better and understanding why you liked that person will help you to move on!

Now

17 online dates Date Two! POF Plenty of FIsh.com


Thanks to my friend who tried 17 online dating sites and 17 dates! She did not want to be named!

So it’s becoming much easier to meet new people now I have tried on-line dating for the second time. We start to go through the same route; message a little, then send some text messages and we meet ( it’s all becoming more normal)

Second site and its Plenty Of Fish .. This site looks cheap like its been knocked up in the garage by some kid on a weekend. However its easy to use and more importantly its FREE! I think that this was the first free site that started up and it became much bigger than expected.

First Impressions of POF

  • It’s easy to use and user-friendly but looks cheap and I think it attracts stranger people than Match
  • Its seems less sophisticated than Match.com and really has an edge of desperation
  • However I managed to get a date so lets see what happens next

The Date

I managed to get a date with a surgeon who told me he liked cake, when we met up he seemed nice he had a flashy car and was good on paper so far… so good… Immediately after talking for a while I found out he was moving to Manchester soon so why did he want to date me in London. Anyway we had a drink and there was no spark! I hate to say it but so far the Match.com date was better even though he was not my ideal man! This site seemed to attract a different class of male yet was Free! This was not for me TW – Time wasters

Next!

Get over it! .. How hard is it to get over someone? …..


Breaking up with someone can be hard but if you are no longer in love with a person how can it still be so hard to get over them!?

  • You find yourself sad as you miss the person as a friend even if you don’t love them anymore
  • You are mourning the loss of the loss of the actual relationship perhaps and not that person
  • You now find yourself walking alone and seeing people in couples makes you feel sad
  • They got over you so fast and that leaves you feeling lost, even though you don’t even like them
  • He is just not that into you – you miss the loss to your ego!

How can they just get over you?

  • People just change and you now no longer fit into their life they actually de- BFF you and forgot you
  • They just don’t care anymore you are no longer a part of their life
  • What makes you think that they should care like you do?
  • You are bad for them and they just don’t want something bad for them in their life any more
  • Love turns into dust so fast

How can you except this and move on!?

  • Don’t expect that people react in the same way – not one answer is applicable for everyone
  • Acceptance that you are not important to them – accept they forgot about you
  • Put your ego behind you and focus on the future
  • why?! maybe there is no reason it’s really simple they moved so maybe its time you do too

17 online dates Date One! Match.com


I found myself single and out on my lonesome so I have decided to become one of those animals that tries online dating for the first time..Thanks to my friend who tried 17 online dating sites and 17 dates! She did not want to be named!

Date one

Site Match.com

Match charges you money so I hoped that the quality of men would be better than any of the free sites, well I hoped.. Here goes…. At first glance the logo is attractive and the site is user-friendly many of the men are attractive and well-educated on their.

Every Time you take a look at a person on the site they know you have seen them I do feel like a bit of a stalker already. I have started to talk to quite a few different guys on the site and  actually I have my first date lined up.

Who is he? 

He is an Oxford graduate not very tall yet he looks cute and well harmless so lets give him ago. We plan to meet at Charlots Bistro in Chiswick for our first date its near my house and actually feels safe. We exchanged numbers and he text me a few random messages about meeting… Feels strange talking to a stranger as I have never been on-line dating before!

We meet for the first time!

I get a drink and wait at the bar feeling a little nervous but I am excited and well my mission to find a man is on I am excited and ready! I work out a plan in my head how the date will go and actually the date goes the complete opposite way. We meet and talk and after loosening up we go and get very drunk together, shots and wine follow…  He invites me in for coffee at the end of the date but I tell him I am off home and he is not getting any “coffee”

End of date one

Great date, Match was a great source of men there were plenty of my type of men on there the ones who seemed normal yet a little middle class and pompous that is just how I like them. It’s easy to use and not too pricey! Worth a try

Will I meet him again!

Yes – But it won’t go anywhere!

7 out of 10 *******