I love You ….


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Signs that show you’re in a committed relationship


love-issues

The Daily Mail  newspaper says..

Planning a holiday, driving each others’ cars and having a key to your partner’s flat are all signs a relationship has got serious, a new survey reveals.

Researchers quizzed 2,000 people to reveal the top 50 things which indicate a couple are past the ‘seeing each other’ phase.

Posting a ‘loved-up’ photo on Facebook, changing your status to ‘in a relationship’ and being introduced to wider friendships circles also show couples are the ‘real deal.’

It’s also proven that the girls are happy to go out without makeup on and dressing up is also no longer such a big deal as you have started to feel more comfortable and relaxed. The guy has started to like you as a whole and is less focused on your physical appearance. However not to say you should let yourself go now but you should be more relaxed.

Around the six month to one year mark you should be talking about moving in together so that you get to know each other properly. Some people say bound on religious purposes that they only want to move in together once they are married. Well this is a serious risk as you really only know someone once you get married to start off with.

Meeting your partner’s parents and friends is also important as you become more serious with each other and becoming the other person’s plus one on invites and christmas events and cards.

The study also shows two in 10 people knew their current relationship was serious after they planned a holiday together, while 43 per cent said the words ‘I love you’ and the same percentage discussed moving in together.

Indeed two-thirds of people polled and in a relationship claimed they felt their first holiday together was a real milestone and demonstrated how committed they were to each other.

Someone I know said his mortgage means more than a marriage and kids he is well committed now that they have a house together. I would say that this is not very romantic but that is how some people see commitment these days. What do you think?

Another wise friend said to me commitment is when you put your partner before yourself and yourself after your partner then you know you are committed.

It’s obvious that commitment means something different to each couple and individual, it is very important that you have the correct level of commitment in your relationship that you feel happy with. For example if you have a mis-matched level of commitment in a relationship then this will cause big issues. If one person wants marriage and kids and the other person does not want it then this is a major mis-match.

Watch out girls after nagging a guy for ages they suddenly say they have changed their mind about something like marriage or kids I would be dubious, believe it when you see it. Many men just drag things out to keep you quiet or happy! Don’t be a victim that it becomes too late and you can no longer have the things you want. Or you are too old to move on!

Love DD XOX

Dear love ….ps I love you


Dear love

I wasn’t a strong believer in love before I met you, perhaps it’s because I have never been in love before. Love to me is special, meaningful and means the world to me. However it’s difficult and takes hard work and care maybe even nurturing so it grows and stays happy.
Meeting the one you love only happens one in a million times, by this I mean someone you care unconditionally for and connect with in so many levels.

It’s fear that made us argue and the unknown that made me snap at you. I know now that you are the best part of me and I’m the best part of you and together we are at our best.

Love makes you weak as when you are apart you become half a person, half a heart and half of happiness. Together we can achieve so much and I believe we can change the world in our own way.

I think we met and we became best friends. Our friendship turned into unconditional love and then one day we got married.
I’m creative and messy and life is one big ball of hecticness. Without you I’d be at parties and probably would have met someone boring.

You’re organised, loving and your heart is made of gold. You love my cooking, food makes you very happy.
Now we get ready to become parents and we can make our mistakes together in harmony. Love is enough for us. Our children will be the best part of us I hope. Let’s hold hands and skip towards our next journey.

Changes in a relationship – break-up’s and staying together


Relationships definitely have ups and downs and at times we believe we can never make the other person happy or ever be good enough. It’s like a decision tree at this point and your relationship can take a turn in many different directions. You have to really be honest with yourself and each other to get through this difficult period and to unwind any unresolved issues.
Why did this happen?
If you feel your relationship is heading in a different direction and things are not like they use to be then there is a reason for this. Perhaps your partner has stopped giving you attention perhaps they started to put their job first. Something that happened over time and you are even in denial over this. You may start to look back at the relationship and compare how it was in the past. If you have been together for a while perhaps with time you both changed as person.
What are the impacts?
Ok, partners could start to look around at other people to try and get attention, this makes you feel more confident and loved. You decide to avoid the person and you may become snappy everything they say annoys you it’s like a buzzing Nat in your ear. You could start to slowly divorce yourself of the relationship and even compare your partner with a past relationship. You feel like things have changed so much you start to feel emotional, insecure and unhappy.
What should you do?
You need to be honest with yourself about how you are feeling before deciding anything. You should judge the relationship over its lifetime and not just in parts, your partner deserves to be reviewed with the good bits and bad bits. You should try to imagine life without them and to think about how this would impact you both. Communication and time are the best cures in this situation in my personal opinion. Being honest with your partner can save the relationship. Take time away together and spend quality time together before rushing to a conclusion.
Is it too late?
I’m a strong believer in the fact that the grass is not always greener, everyone has good points and bad points. Also everything does happen for a reason when it’s the end it’s happened because two people ended it really. As they say if the fights worth fighting then make sure you fight well as finding love is one of the greatest things and most valuable things in life.
Breaking up …
Staying together …
 
Both take time and hard work but I know my readers are smart so be strong and I wish you all the best xx

Why is love so hard…


Why is love so hard? 

  1. Labels terrify some people and uncertainty terrifies others
  2. We see people getting screwed over so often
  3. Some people are so, unbelievably shallow
  4. Quitting is easier than fixing
  5. Because falling in love isn’t hard at all. It’s the getting back up after your heart has been smashed into a million tiny pieces that’s so brutal

1) Labels ensure that they put pressure on men and women beyond belief and this quite often results in relationships ending. How can we avoid this? Well I think that its good from the start to be honest and open about what you want and expect from the relationship. Don’t try to change a person or live in hope for them to change for your benefit then get upset once it won’t work. Ensure that you communicate honestly and ask the other person what they want from the future too!

2) We see people getting screwed over so often and perhaps this haunts us into thinking everyone is the same way, it’s not good to use your past or others to tarnish a new relationship. Make a fresh start and don’t look backwards. This will give you the best chance of survival

3) You need to get past looks, look looks and find someone who is nice inside and outside. I think that you need to try to get to know someone as a friend and they will grown better looking naturally. People change in looks and can change so look past this or you will end up on your own!

4) Quitting is easier than fixing something that is harder work.. I do think that every relationship and even marriages need help at some point. You have to be a good judge of character though and really consider all of the key factors! Some friends hate men and will find all of the negative things but you need to talk it through with your partner before giving up or going on ..

5) Try and forgive a person and to move on even if they have heart you. Remember that humans are only human and we cannot help but mess up at times

XOXO DD hope it helps

Are women doing things the less traditional way these days?!


Welcome back from DD! Sorry I have neglected my blog for a little while, we were busy planning our wedding then got busy getting married and then went on honeymoon! Anyway enough about me, in summary I missed my blog and readers!

I noticed many of my friends are having babies first before getting married and other friends are marrying same-sex, things have really changed and I wanted to know what you all think of it!?

  • There is a good reason why things should go in a specific order marriage, kids and so on… It’s important for a couple to bond together and at every stage to become prepared for each stage and having some time to enjoy married life together before having kids will prepare you both for kids and let’s be honest life changes once the little ones come
  • Many women pressure men into getting married through having children first and not sure they would admit this out loud – Would he marry you without the baby ?
  • Loads of people use money as an excuse not to get married – but you can do it on the cheap even get to a beach and get married
  • Finding someone to love you is hard and loving them back in the same way is harder, you need to give it time and don’t force things
  • Don’t panic and find any man and marry him, please do some digging and research before heading down that road, for example if my ex’s girlfriend knew his past she would not go to near him! Be safe and not sorry!
  • Don’t rush as you think you are running out of time – things will happen for you just have faith in yourself
  • To find love does not come easily so hold out for the correct person and don’t become desperate

Good luck

The rules of a relationship in love cycles find out how it works


I have discovered that most and if not all couples love and relationship dramas go through the “cycle of love” this is down to a theory of the cycles of love years you have got together plus situations and personality

Cycle 1 – Friends Zone / start 

Zone of Confusion 

  • You are getting to know each other dating or just like each other – There is always one who is more sure than the other and one who is trying to impress the other, it’s very  unlikely that two people meet and just fall in love – every heard of the ones you like don’t like you well this is it… You are in the zone of confusion

Cycle 2 Getting to know each other 

Zone of Denial 

  • You start to find out more about the other person and there are things you don’t like you really want them to be as you imagined or wanted. You are faced with finding out more and either working out you have no chemistry or accepting the bad things – If you pass then go to cycle 3 if you not you are calling it a day

Cycle 3  Dating and building up chemistry 

Zone of Lust

  • Cycle three can be taken at any speed depending on the two people but in essence you will be lusting after each other or become better friends it can one of two ways
  • If you are in the lusting phase you are talking on the phone all day and want to rip each others clothes off – maybe trying new things and well you start to see your friends less but still have independence

Cycle 4  Dating and becoming more serious 

Zone of Consideration and introductions /data gathering 

  • You start to introduce your friends and family to your partner to gather data on them to see how suitable they are long-term for you. Normally by this phase its gone one of three ways 1) one is more keen to settle than the other 2) You are both at the same stage 3) one wants to take a step back as it got too hot. This is the real make or break phase – this should happen 6 months into the relationship.
  • Normally the guy can pull away at this stage but he will come back just show him how much you are into him! **

Cycle 5  Two become one 

Zone of Linkage Love Zone 

  • You are spending a huge amount of time together and you start to show the other person the real you without makeup on and start to fart in bed time. You start to fall in love and well love them for the good and the bad. You are on cloud 9 and yeah you are in the love zone!

Cycle 6  Head over heals .. 

Two become one 

  • Here you are seeing each other all the time and you are thinking about moving in together or taking your relationship to the next stage of commitment all the worries of pulling away have gone and you are solid – You know this person is in your future and you are on the road to being solid.
  • Friends that are single start to want to be less friendly and get s bit of the green-eyed monster!

Cycle 7  Comfort Zone  .. 

Things can become boring

  • You are serious and comfortable maybe too much so that you can lose the spark! remember date nights and working on your relationship and you will fly
  • On the other hand you grow to love the person even more and you think about weddings and babies 1 year – 1.5 years in

Cycle 8 Certain Zone 

  • You were made for each other and the relationship is made for each other !
  • Or you just decide you are no longer the same and you need to take a different path!