Why won’t he ask me to marry him? How can I get him to marry me?


marry

You may be getting to the age when you feel ready for marriage or perhaps your family are putting pressure to get married. Everyone has their own reasons and objectives for marriage and some are more genuine than others.

If you have been with someone for more than three years some girls maybe thinking about having a baby soon or even think about having a baby in the hope that their partner asks them to get married.  Both things kind of go hand in hand have you noticed that many girls have the baby and then the guys ask you to marry?!

The men that have not mentioned marriage 1.5 years into the relationship are not ready or they have not found the correct person I think you should be ready by this time.  Its interesting I think anyone getting married before moving in together and before the 1.5 years is a bit too soon. However once you have lived together and get to know each other properly marriage should be a nice and natural step.

Marriage should not feel scary but you do need to be mentally prepared for it mostly men will tell you that they need to get ready to be married and that is fine and normal. Long long engagements are pointless just get on with it.

You should bring up the subject of marriage once you have lived together and are getting on well you need to know what the other person wants from life and is that in line with what you want?

If you are scared you will push them away then wait until the time feels right you can start off with asking them their views on marriage and take it from there.

How to get him to Marry you

  • Nail out any issues you have with each other and the relationship before you start to discuss the topic of marriage. Wait until you think your relationship is in a good place and start talking about the future
  • Try and keep the romance and quality you and him time going you need to be in a good place together
  • Ask questions about his views on marriage to see what he feels like about the topic and subject and express how you feel about it
  • Introduce him to your friends and family before bringing up the topic of marriage

Let me know how it goes DD XOXOX

 

 

 

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You have gone off him after having a baby?!.. Some advice on how to keep the relationship healthy after the birth!


 

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So, I hear so many cases where women go off their husbands after they have just given birth and there are some normal and natural reasons for this.

This is what the NHS website says about it

Symptoms of postnatal depression

Postnatal depression can affect women in different ways. It can start at any point in the first year after giving birth and may develop suddenly or gradually.

Many women feel a bit down, tearful or anxious in the first week after giving birth. This is often called the “baby blues” and is so common that it’s considered normal. The “baby blues” don’t last for more than two weeks after giving birth.

If your symptoms last longer or start later, you could have postnatal depression.

Common symptoms of postnatal depression

The main symptoms include:

  • a persistent feeling of sadness and low mood
  • loss of interest in the world around you and no longer enjoying things that used to give you pleasure
  • lack of energy and feeling tired all the time
  • trouble sleeping at night and feeling sleepy during the day
  • feeling that you’re unable to look after your baby
  • problems concentrating and making decisions
  • loss of appetite or an increased appetite (comfort eating)
  • feeling agitated, irritable or very apathetic (you “can’t be bothered”)
  • feelings of guilt, hopelessness and self-blame
  • difficulty bonding with your baby with a feeling of indifference and no sense of enjoyment in his or her company
  • frightening thoughts – for example, about hurting your baby; these can be scary, but they’re very rarely acted upon
  • thinking about suicide and self-harm

Maybe your were never really that into him and its just an excuse

Many women decided before having the baby that they were not that into him really anyway and after the baby the reality comes to life! Perhaps this has happened to you?

How some women felt after giving birth

I don’t even want to put this into words, because then it’ll be real. But I need some advice.

I still love my husband, but I’m starting to question whether I’m in love with him any more. Our baby is 17 weeks old, so obviously the dynamics of the relationship have changed dramatically, and I’m hoping that it’s just that, and we’ll get some spark back. Has anyone else found they felt this way after their baby was born?
We have only had sex a few times since baby arrived, and I have to admit that I was just going through the motions for his sake. I’m not sure if it’s because of changes to my body, or if I don’t fancy him any more, or if it’s a combination. I’m not sure if I should tell him I feel like this, especially if it’s just a normal phase, because it’ll really hurt him – or worse, I’ll find out he’s having the same thoughts.
I don’t think i want to leave him, but I have to confess I’ve been fantasising about just that….

My feelings towards the baby have also changed in the last few days. This is awful to think, never mind say, but he’s really getting on my nerves. He’s whiny, he constantly wants me to entertain him, and he’s taken to punching me too! Even his gorgeous little smile doesn’t have the same effect on me anymore.

What is going on in my head??!!!! Is it normal to feel like this, and will it pass???!!!

What can you do to keep the relationship alive

  • Start spending quality time together I think eating dinner together it’s a great and important time in each day when you talk about how the day was it’s quality time
  • Travel together perhaps drop him off to the station once or twice a week so you can talk together a bit more
  • Get the helpers to babysit when you are ready to and have day lunch dates even go for a swim together for an hour
  • Tell him or her how much they mean to you try and make your partner feel positive when you spend time together
  • Get a family day out trip booked to the national trust or something you can all enjoy together
  • Feel good about yourself exercise and start to get back into shape after the baby

 

XOXO DD

 

 

How to breakup with someone! How to stay positive!


date

We talked allot about how to meet new people and how to get past the first date but we have not covered breaking up. Breaking up is the most horrible topic to discuss as it’s depressing and has a sad stigma attached to it.

In any relationship, there are good days and there are bad days. For instance, you might want to do something that your partner is completely opposed to, or she might want to go shopping for the apartment when all you want to do is stay at home and relax with the game or a movie. This is part and parcel of being one half of a couple.

However it’s not all bad many good things come out of breaking up with someone you never know who is around the corner and how your life will turn around years down the line.

Positives takeaways from a breakup 

  • You can try things on your own that you never thought you could ever do before you were on your own – I remember my dad telling me to enjoy the time on my own while I can – I decided to travel to the countries I wanted to go to, to try the things he never wanted to do with me and well to go out and party as I wanted to!
  • You feel a weight has been lifted once you are out of the situation as hard as it is you can finally focus on your own future
  • Being on your own you can spread out in the bed in a star shape and enjoy the freedom of your own bed
  • Its a fresh start go and get a new look and cut all your hair off if you really want to
  • Come home at whatever time you want to nobody will ask you where you are and what time you will get home

happy

What are the first signs that there is a problem

Askmen says …

When you first got together with your other half, you couldn’t stop contacting each other. Whether it was on the phone, via text messaging or using e-mail and other online messenger systems, speaking to each other almost every hour was the norm. Now, however, you can’t even be bothered to text her, let alone call. On top of this, you’ve deliberately started to ignore her attempts to contact you. Caller ID has never been so useful and a breakup has never been more imminent.

One of the most natural and exciting parts of being involved with someone is planning the future together. You’re perfectly content to plan for the holidays, dream about where you want to make your home, and ponder possible names for your kids because it gives you a feeling of safety. These thoughts of the future perpetuate the sentiment that the two of you will always be a loving couple that grows old together.

I think if you are doubting your relationship its normal but if you stop loving a person its really the end of the road

Be brave and positive and nothing can you that badly

How to breakup

  • Have a face to face conversation over dinner if you are scared that the person may go mental best to be in a public and safe place ( perhaps move your stuff out secretly before telling them
  • If it’s mutual you can get a coffee and a walk – walking and talking by the river or water is a relaxing way to do it
  • Parting on a good note is always the best way revenge and stuff like that will stay with you for a lifetime so try and part on good terms
  • Do it over text if you are a coward but I think this is spineless
  • Stay friends! This is the best advice!

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What should you do after the breakup

  • Stay with family or friends be calm don’t drink alcohol it will depress you more
  • Exercise and keep fit and healthy
  • Try not to contact your partner for a good few weeks while the dust settles
  • Good luck with the new start I am excited for you and know you will meet the correct person for you
  • Now get back to dating and stay focused on meeting the best person when you are ready!

wedding

XOXO DD

 

How to get a second date! A quick guide to winning a first date!


Your hands may be sweaty and you may blank out on conversation topics — just take a deep breath, this is only the first date. I always say to my friends keep the first date short you can and are allowed to meet the person even for just one hour long on the first date

1)  Looks

Its all about the first impression on a first date unfortunately as they say first impressions really do count when you first meet someone. Here are a few hints and tips for both men and women

And although you should never judge a book by its cover, Whitmore says people will make judgement calls about your character and personality based on your initial encounter.

Girls – Don’t look like you are trying too hard but also make enough effort  men will find it attractive if you  look effortlessly good so keep the makeup natural.

Ladies here are some examples of some effortless looks for a first date the last photo is more for an evening date but they are all sending out the correct signals to that guy you like!

Guys – You should do your hair wear a smart yet casual top and the shoes will be judged so make sure they are not looking scruffy, oh yeah and smell good!

Guys this is also a smart casual look that makes a good first impression I have included the hat and trainers look to show you can make the casual look trendy and smart ( cool)

2) Good Time Keeping

When you show up on time it highlights that you are responsible and makes a good first impression, however being early is a bit too keen remember this is not a job interview it’s a date so be on time but don’t linger around early or you may look desperate.

3) Do some research before you actually go to meet them find out what is happening in the news look into the other person’s job , hobbies and family life so that you have good substantial stuff to talk about. They may ask you what you think about x news topic and you want to look prepared!

4) Have a story in the back of your mind you can tell them make it funny and something that happened recently to warm up the conversation. It is always good to have these ready incase there are some silent moments of awkwardness

5) Offer to get a drink both people should get a drink each on the first date otherwise he / she will be telling their friends you were a bit tight trust me! I hear this all the time even if the guy is generous. Also don’t get drunk on your first date you may live to regret this even if you need some courage! NO NO!

6)Huffington post says …

A good conversation is like a tennis match. It only works when you hit the ball in the other person’s court,” Whitmore says. Try to focus more on your date and less on yourself —you’ll impress your date if you show you’re fully engaged, listen, and ask pertinent questions, she adds. This type of attentive listening builds trust and almost always guarantees a second date.

listen

7) don’t mention the Ex or getting divorced or anything negative on the first date otherwise he will think you are so not over it!

8) Focus on the positives of life not how bad your job is or how bad the weather is but be positive and happy. Remember not to be fake I hate those girls that come across too friendly or too nice be natural!

9) End the date gracefully even if you don’t want to see them again be nice and tell them the things you enjoyed with them.  Don’t mention meeting again word it like look forward to catching up soon or let’s talk soon take care !

DD XOXOX

 

Signs that show you’re in a committed relationship


love-issues

The Daily Mail  newspaper says..

Planning a holiday, driving each others’ cars and having a key to your partner’s flat are all signs a relationship has got serious, a new survey reveals.

Researchers quizzed 2,000 people to reveal the top 50 things which indicate a couple are past the ‘seeing each other’ phase.

Posting a ‘loved-up’ photo on Facebook, changing your status to ‘in a relationship’ and being introduced to wider friendships circles also show couples are the ‘real deal.’

It’s also proven that the girls are happy to go out without makeup on and dressing up is also no longer such a big deal as you have started to feel more comfortable and relaxed. The guy has started to like you as a whole and is less focused on your physical appearance. However not to say you should let yourself go now but you should be more relaxed.

Around the six month to one year mark you should be talking about moving in together so that you get to know each other properly. Some people say bound on religious purposes that they only want to move in together once they are married. Well this is a serious risk as you really only know someone once you get married to start off with.

Meeting your partner’s parents and friends is also important as you become more serious with each other and becoming the other person’s plus one on invites and christmas events and cards.

The study also shows two in 10 people knew their current relationship was serious after they planned a holiday together, while 43 per cent said the words ‘I love you’ and the same percentage discussed moving in together.

Indeed two-thirds of people polled and in a relationship claimed they felt their first holiday together was a real milestone and demonstrated how committed they were to each other.

Someone I know said his mortgage means more than a marriage and kids he is well committed now that they have a house together. I would say that this is not very romantic but that is how some people see commitment these days. What do you think?

Another wise friend said to me commitment is when you put your partner before yourself and yourself after your partner then you know you are committed.

It’s obvious that commitment means something different to each couple and individual, it is very important that you have the correct level of commitment in your relationship that you feel happy with. For example if you have a mis-matched level of commitment in a relationship then this will cause big issues. If one person wants marriage and kids and the other person does not want it then this is a major mis-match.

Watch out girls after nagging a guy for ages they suddenly say they have changed their mind about something like marriage or kids I would be dubious, believe it when you see it. Many men just drag things out to keep you quiet or happy! Don’t be a victim that it becomes too late and you can no longer have the things you want. Or you are too old to move on!

Love DD XOX